The Three of Me

THE THREE OF ME

I was going to write this article in the first person, but as the story evolves in my thinking, I find that it does not work as well.

However, the first person pronoun “I” is used throughout. For the purpose of this reading, I does not actually refer to me in particular, although it does refer to me as well. It may refer to the reader if the reader can identify with it. In fact, I refers to all of us.

“The three of me” is a collection of thoughts and observations about the human condition, and are purely the current conclusions of the writer, and not intended to be an influence on the perceptions of others. However, others will find something here that they will perhaps blend with their own viewpoint to make a broader horizon or even basis for further discussion which will then lead to greater enlightenment.

 

The first I…

I am the person that you read about on my resume. I am the person described on my birth certificate, and will ultimately, be the person on my death certificate. When someone calls my name, and I say that I am present, people can look and see me there.

The way that the point of the first I can be illustrated is with the following: Point to the wall nearest you. Do you see the wall? Yes, is the obvious answer, of course I can see the wall. But do you see the wall? It can be pointed out that you do not see the wall at all. What you see is the paint that covers every part of the wall, and conforms to the shape of the underlying structure. So, ask the question again; Can you see the wall? Our view can only show what the wall may basically look like, how well maintained it is, perhaps how old it could be, and even an indication of what material it is made of.

The first I is the person that most people think that they are. It is the (current) physical representation of their life to date, complete with memories, experiences, upbringing, training, and circumstances. If this is enough for you, and you never wonder about the mystery of life or the wonder of it all, then probably no need for you to read any further.

 

The second I…

I am the thoughts that endlessly go through my mind. I am the voice in my head that triggers my emotions, forms my judgments, that draws conclusions, and that decides most of my actions. I am the one who has formed my character. I am the one that a prospective employer is trying to assess at an interview once he has finished reading my resume.

It is the second I that can control the first I so completely when allowed to do so, which is most of the time. In general, we don’t even recognize the second I because it is mistaken for being simply a part of the first I. “Yes, I am a moody person, that is just the way that I am,” will sum up this kind of thinking. This is as if there were no possible way to control the “way that I am”. This is the closed mind, However, most of the time my thoughts push in to be the receivers of my attention, and will shut out everything else, and so consume my mind totally and thereby be the director of my actions irrespective of right or wrong, in order to satisfy whatever imagined needs or wants have been conjured up by my thinking.

When the thinking process is given full dominance, emotions kick in, actions are taken, and so my life and character are defined.

 

The third I…

Everyone has had the experience of being in the middle of some course of action, and suddenly realize that this is wrong, this is crazy, this is not what I really should be or want to be doing. Instant feelings of remorse can surge up, and you are stopped in your tracks.

Often the thinker I starts to make ways for corrective action that will attempt to cover up or just modify the actions and even justify them so that I don’t need that emotional response of remorse. Often this works, and is enough to allow me to continue without being troubled too much. I can even think so that I feel satisfied and everything I have done is actually fine, and I can even defend my actions fully and will do so vigorously if challenged.

But what really happened? “I felt ashamed of myself” is a common statement, but what does this imply? I and myself are not the same person? But I am me, right? Yes, but the real me has been there quietly assessing all and wanting to be heard if only I can do so over the perpetual din created by my thoughts. I have the ability to direct my thoughts. If I can master directing my thoughts, I will also be controlling my emotions. If my thoughts and emotions are no longer in control of my life, then how am I making decisions? The physical me cannot do it as that is just the body and servant of my mind. The thinker – the voice in my head is proven to be a bad judge and needs to be carefully monitored to ensure that they are in line with my true nature. But monitored by whom? What happens inside my head can be controlled by me alone, and if that is so, then the thinker I is not me.

So, how much in control is the real you? That depends on how much you want to allow yourself to truly ordain your own destiny. The alternative is to roll along with whatever comes your way, react to it with thoughts of judgment and criticism, and try to force yourself to be the one who ends up in front mostly by the pushing others down and manipulating situations for personal benefit.

The third I is not concerned about the judgment of others. This is the real me. the one that I cannot even describe. Attempts to describe this are: conscience; soul; essence; the Christ within; the only real me; and so on. The real I is transcendent of thought and as I have often experienced can override thoughts spontaneously. But the real me is not something that I can go looking for. The real me is not what I can go in search of but what will simply be with me when thoughts are directed and emotions are controlled. As the Buddha said “This cannot be taught”.